Old Habits, New Normal- SWCC v Worthing 12.07.2020

‘Social distancing’ is a horrible concept, even more a very odd phrase, and when the 2019 season closed such a happening would have never been considered a norm. Yet throughout this year we have rather got used it, and on Sunday Wanderers took to taking things a little further when distancing their bats from straight deliveries and their fielding hands from the ball.

The opening match of this season was to be had in balmy July weather at the Preston Park cycle track, a convenient venue rather than a plumb choice for the lover of cricketing aesthetics. But needs must, and folk were desperate to play, even if their keenness had caused a mild amnesia where the tactical complexities of one’s game are concerned.

Of course, the viewing of this match was more of a chore for The Author, not because of the need for a scorer (the shiny new scorebook had proved the perfect bait) but because of his own senior moment in forgetting to bring his tea. The diet may have received a boost but the culinary memory of a cricketing event is worth a paragraph alone. Even the match reports have only returned in a half-hearted way as a result.

But some things will always stay with us. Like losing the toss. Once the coin had been tossed with gay abandon and the wrong call made everybody knew that cricket was back. Wanderers were sent into bat, it was a 35 over bash, and we back on track. Well, kind of.

Jordan and The Big Bear strode to the wicket like a pair of boxing heavyweights ready to do some serious damage. A confident swagger and a look of preparation for a run fest. It may be best left at that point as it was downhill from thereon in. The first over began, the familiar chatter gently swirling at the boundaries edge, and Jordan looked in turmoil from the opening ball. Nature decided to throw the towel in early as the fifth delivery of the first bout rumbled his wickets. There was a run on the board, the saving grace of a wide, and no first ball dismissal. Small crumbs. Lloyd barely had his pads on so The Author told him not to worry. Perhaps timing out may have been a saving grace, although Lloyd did his best to shake off the cobwebs with a combative approach.

Thankfully, the famous opening disaster at Littleworth in 2016 was surpassed with ease though. The second wicket stand producing almost as many runs as the entire innings of that mad afternoon in West Sussex. With the score looking like a shaping 34 Lloyd has a rush of blood and chases bowler Rusbridge down the wicket. He’s sharply stumped and the second wicket falls. No problem, he’s shown some promise, it’s the first match, and proud father Will Barber is making his way to the wicket to show his new born the field that may become his own in years to come. The Big Bear is digging in and, although not as fluent as usual, is building an innings. It could be a long introductory afternoon for the scorers’ pencil. Or not. 22 runs are added, Will with a lone boundary but seemingly out of sorts, then another wicket falls. Uncomfortable from the off, Will becomes bowler Wood’s first victim. There envelopes a feeling in The Author’s senses that a sharpener may be needed. I’m not wrong. It may be 56-2, but an uncomfortable feeling of short proceedings is in the air. And thus, it was.

The Wanderers tail is long, and given the rustiness that the delayed season has crusted upon the group, it’s giraffe long, and the time it takes to scythe through is shorter than the appendage of a Manx cat…. Anxious bats are left flailing at the high summer air, padded legs greet the straight delivery forgetting their wooden advance party, catches are gratefully and comfortably held. As the vector of disease becomes the sphere of calamity, It’s a rout.  Seven wickets fall for 18 runs with five batsmen making 0 or 1. The score book looks like an old programmer’s log with its binary sequences.

Fixturev Worthing 
VenuePreston Park, Brighton
Type35 Overs
ResultWorthing  won by 5 Wickets


Annotation 2020-07-15 134653

So, Wanderers take to the field for the first time this season. Happy steps. Whatever happens it isn’t likely to be a long stint. There was, however, early promise. Lukey opened the bowling from the north end and Lloyd from the south. A competent looking two who didn’t appear much shackled by the long layoff. Apart from a couple of boundaries the openers begin in tentative fashion. With the score on 12 the first wicket in 10 months falls, and it’s the man Crathern who bowls batsman Rusbridge. How delightful to see the bails spilled and the celebratory grunts of the fielders. Jordan provides ample coverage behind the stumps and stands up to Luke. At 21 this is rewarded with a sharp stumping of the other tottering opener. When a third wicket falls on 26 in the first over of the 50th season from the oldest swinger in town, there is hope on our side. After all, would not one expect the opposition to have the same rustiness ? We’ve done this before. There is a game a brewing here.

Yet Unlike Wanderers on this occasion, the Worthing have a primed middle order. A steady stand develops between the two young incumbents. The oldest swinger gets swung by this embryonic pairing although debutante Hemmings stays steady at the south end. With little runs to play with the stand proves costly and when Geoff takes his first wicket with the score on 62, a catch at the wicket by safe hands Jordan, Wanderers have all been a bit dilatory. Ant and Phil are given a chance to turn their arms over, Ant joining the four bowlers already on most wickets taken for the season- one- with the first outfield catch of the season going to Will Barber. The Gents ease home with half their line up intact.

The playing season hasn’t so much started with a bang as a squeaky fart.  There is little fanfare but more a sense of contentment that finally our favourite summer pastime is a part of our lives again. The new normal is now the normal. Some things remain though. Unfounded hope, middle order collapses, missed opportunities and comedic calamity. What also remains is a good bunch of folks enjoying themselves on a Sunday and making each other’s lives much richer for the experience. Bugger the result, it’s good to have that back.

Annotation 2020-07-15 154902

Return To The Hundred Acre Wood…


So that watery yellow circle of summer’s faded dreams lowered west, and another day of September’s teasing warmth ebbed away, as if conducted to a close by an invisible orchestra, a silent symphony of colour, the conductor slowing the baton as night crept in. The ever decreasing heathland sat calmly in the distance as Pooh and Piglet made a sauntering path home.

Who was Man of the Match ?’ asked Piglet

I don’t know, they always forget to award it’ replied a frustrated Pooh.

Shall we just say it was Gwyllim ?- he always seems to win it’ Piglet replied

Let’s just give it to Cricket’ Pooh offered ..’There is precious little of it left this year’.

And indeed there is. One alien to these shores might query as to why- for as Wanderers made the journey to the north of the shire, and Pooh’s Hundred Acre Wood, September had began a beautiful delusion of climatic wonder.

Hartfield is the main village in the parish of the same name. Set in a backdrop of rolling forest and protected heathland the area offers revolving and varied countryside aesthetics. One can’t help thinking the South Downs, and the coastal resorts of Sussex, stay smug that few seem to evangelise upon its beauty. Perhaps, in some ways, the local residents are thankful for this- except, naturally, the local pub which was not as full as one might expect for summer’s dying fling.

The cricket ground is in the centre of this linear village. It trebles function as the football ground and recreation park. If Wanderers have played here before then it must have been some time ago. In the north of the county there are still some hidden gems of cricketing paradise to discover. Another one was chalked off today.

Lord Sponge has been a veritable Eeyore where the toss is concerned. Perhaps with a little justification. To win the toss on a day as clear and warm as this is to bat. But Wanderers bowled. No, a Paine like lunacy did not afflict our much loved captain- he simply called it wrong again. I’m sure if Lukey was asked when he last won two tosses in a row his reply would be same as a quote from the hapless Eeyore- ‘Days, weeks, months…who knows ?’

The pitch at times was slow and low. At times it also had more bounce than Tigger. Being situated on the sandstone and clays of the High Weald often affords the opportunity to forge a batsman’s paradise. But, like many wickets, time and investment is needed. It’s also late summer so the square was clearly lacking freshness. Wanderer’s bowling attack would not traditionally be regarded as quick so vagaries in the track would not normally be seen as a major concern. Nonetheless, the advantage of batting first is somewhat neutered by them.

So Hartfield opened up a 35 over bash.

The Author was unfortunate to miss the opening hour or so of this event. For there was a little drama to speak of. Not much, but a little.

They’re funny things, accidents. You never have them till you’re having them.’ said Eeyore

It is certain that Lloyd would subscribe to this theory for it was reported, with much mirth, that despite a dry outfield there is a stream running beneath the barren grass on the south side of the pitch. And, being prone to such miss-haps, the effervescent Crathern managed to familiarise himself with this during an courageous fielding exploit. Yet there was nothing wet about him otherwise as two catches and three wickets were testament to. Perhaps Piglet was wrong about the Man of the Match award.

With an even spread of contributions, Hartfield foraged and blustered, swung and swotted their way to 184, Brunsdon and Gazina both falling short of fifties. This may have been because our Joe had given them complementary copies of his new book- ‘Jug Avoidance’.

Hartfield SWCC
Simpson Run Out (Waymark) 8 Waymark 7 0 21 0
Turner c Crathern b Smith (L) 21 Smith (L) 7 0 20 1
Brunsdon c Crathern b Field 46 Field 7 0 42 2
Saunders Run Out (Baker J) 6 Baker (J) 7 1 33 0
Brown b Crathern 28 Crathern 4 0 21 3
Marjorman c Jones b Field 0 Walker 3 0 28 0
Gazina c Noakes (w/k) b Crathern 42
Akhtar Not Out 8
Horner c Noakes (w/k) b Crathern 0
Exhal Not Out 5
Fulham DNB
Extras 21
Total 8 Wickets 184

After tea aplenty, and with the sunshine still warm, Wanderers began their reply. Our dear crock Styles had knackered many anatomical parts during the preceding couple of hours. So there was a changing of guard. Christopher Robin had to go to Buckingham Palace on his own as Alice had been roped in to bat if needed.

Now, it’s not apparent if Gman, The Big Bear, had been told that Heffalumps had been seen near the village, but he was certainly a bit hasty in wanting to get things done.

A thumping seventy one runs were hoisted from the first ten overs. And, as much as the running between the wickets was more Eeyore than Rabbit, there was an element of redundancy in the need for singles. On a ground with the boundaries such as Hartfield one senses that the public liability insurance may not be cheap. An opening stand of 100 came to end only when, as fluent and notable as the crashing arm of the Big Bear would allow, Will Barber’s innings ended when stumped for an anchorman’s 22.

One might forgive the opposition for thinking that, when dismissing Gman for 82 (4×6, 7×4) with the score at 125, the carnage might just stop there. But Teflon Noakes and Lloyd continued to trouble the scorers pencils.

It must be said that run rate slowed down with the introduction of bowlers Simpson and Sanders. Certainly Simpson’s return at two and over, and the wicket of Will, made the match seem closer. But Lloyd and Teflon Noakes both struck handsome thirties and never looked unduly troubled. Noaksey, not inclined to sprint as much these days, thumped seven fours in the process.

Having been set a target at five runs an over plus Wanderers came home to Pooh Corner with four of them to spare. Wickets had been as rare as Woozles and a comfortable victory had resulted.

A word for our hosts. Their welcome was as warm and appealing as the ground. Hartfield no longer play Saturday cricket and it is no surprise to see so many home matches in their Sunday fixture list. Wanderers would certainly like to return next season if the opportunity affords itself- and if Gman could stop putting the entire structure of the village at risk with his mammoth hitting.

The team retired to the splendid Anchor Inn for much jollity and lamenting of the season’s pending climax. And what a splendid summer it has been.

SWCC Hartfield
Jones b Exall 82 Exall 7 0 41 1
Barber St w/k b Simpson 22 Horner 5 0 52 0
Crathern Not Out 36 Simpson 7 1 15 1
Noakes Not Out 35 Sanders 7 1 32 0
Waymark Gazina 5 0 36 0
Smith (L)
Extras 11
Total 185
FOW 100, 125

Southwick Wanderers Cricket Averages 2018

Played 20
Won 6
Drawn 1
Lost 13


Barber W 16 16 515 1 34.33 100 1 2
Jones G 19 19 501 1 27.83 101 1 2
Crathern L 11 11 281 0 25.55 64   2
Noakes D 11 11 197 2 21.89 53   1
Baker J 13 12 156 3 17.33 40    
Smith L 16 11 112 3 14.00 37    
Walker A 16 14 86 3 7.82 25    
Slaymaker P 8 8 25 0 3.13 13    
Field D 14 9 5 6 1.67 3    
Tounge R 2 2 63 0 31.50 48    
Wilson J 4 4 123 0 30.75 61   1
Hyde J 2 2 52 0 26.00 32    
Funnell J 2 2 43 0 21.50 43    
Styles P 3 3 50 0 16.67 39    
Nevill T 2 2 32 0 16.00 23    
Mehta G 1 1 14 0 14.00 14    
Nevill K 3 3 27 1 13.50 21    
Vallance P 2 2 13 1 13.00 12    
Warren T 2 1 13 0 13.00 13    
Livingstone H 3 3 34 0 11.33 16    
Wadey D 6 5 39 1 9.75 18    
Preston A 5 5 28 2 9.33 8    
Johnson M 6 5 37 1 9.25 22    
Butcher M 2 2 17 0 8.50 10    
Waymark A 2 2 8 1 8.00 8    
Smith N 3 2 14 0 7.00 14    
Mohammed U 1 1 6 0 6.00 6    
Hughes H 1 1 6 0 6.00 6    
Rainsbridge P 1 1 5 0 5.00 5    
Prince Punnoose 1 1 5 0 5.00 5    
Hawthorn C 1 1 5 0 5.00 5    
Currin S 2 2 8 0 4.00 4    
Meshram P 4 4 11 1 3.67 6    
Ward P 2 2 7 0 3.50 5    
Manvell G 6 5 12 1 3.00 6    
Fennell I 6 5 12 1 3.00 5    
Barrs K 3 3 6 1 3.00 4    
Patel D 1 1 2 0 2.00 2    
Preston Adeline 1 1 2 0 2.00 2    
Hughes J 1 1 2 0 2.00 2    
Feroz Khan 1 1 1 0 1.00 1    
Pengelly S 1 1 0 0 0.00 0    
NOT OUT                
Tourle J 1 1 28 1   28    
Anand Sawat 1 1 26 1   26    
Noakes A 2 1 0 0   0    
Tom (Guest) 1 1 0 0   0    
Dockwra A 1 1 0 0   0    
40 OVERS + O M R W Ave RR    
Smith L 96.3 12 378 17 22.24 3.92    
Slaymaker P 56.0 7 223 10 22.30 3.98    
Baker J 58.4 7 337 10 33.70 5.74    
Walker A 48.1 1 306 7 43.71 6.35    
Field D 90.0 11 359 8 44.88 3.99    
Fennell I 2.0 0 3 1 3.00 1.50    
Penny N 5.2 0 17 4 4.25 3.19    
Neville K 13 4 22 4 5.50 1.69    
Warren T 8.0 2 33 3 11.00 4.13    
Neville T 7.0 1 25 2 12.50 3.57    
Smith N 12.1 1 39 3 13.00 3.21    
Rusbridge P 4.0 0 26 2 13.00 6.50    
Tourle J 2.0 0 13 1 13.00 6.50    
Jones G 33 2 138 10 13.80 4.18    
Wilson J 13.0 3 72 4 18.00 5.54    
Johnson M 4.2 0 19 1 19.00 4.39    
Crathern L 39.0 1 186 8 23.25 4.77    
Waymark A 9.0 0 52 2 26.00 5.78    
Barber W 7.0 0 58 2 28.50 8.28    
Meshram P 28 6 119 4 29.75 4.25    
Wadey D 15.0 1 69 2 34.50 4.60    
Barrs K 10.0 0 64 1 64.00 6.40    
Preston A 8.0 0 87 1 87.00 10.88    
Styles P 20.0 0 119 1 119.00 5.95    
Hughes H 9.0 2 29 0   3.22    
Patel D 6.0 0 32 0   5.33    
Funnell J 6.0 0 37 0   6.17    
Tounge R 4.2 0 36 0   8.30    
Pengelly S 4.0 0 13 0   3.25    
Mohammed U 4.0 0 16 0   4.00    
Butcher M 4.0 0 26 0   6.50    
Ward P 3.0 0 24 0   8.00    
Prince Punnoose 2.0 0 18 0   9.00    
Khan F 2.0 0 22 0   11.00    
Hawthorn C 2.0 0 40 0   20.00    
Anand Sawat 2.0 0 18 0   9.00    
Hyde J 1.0 0 8 0   8.00    
ALL Total Out Wk St        
Barber W 5 5            
Noakes D 5 2 3 1        
Crathern L 4 4            
Jones G 4 4            
Smith L 4 4            
Vallance P 4 0 4          
Johnson M 3 0 3          
Unclaimed 3 3            
Baker J 2 2            
Wilson J 2 2            
Butcher M 1 1            
Fennell I 1 1            
Funnell J 1 1            
Hyde J 1 1            
Manvell G 1 1            
Mehta G 1 1            
Nevill K 1 1            
Nevill T 1 1            
Slaymaker P 1 1            
Tounge R 1 1            
Tourle J 1 1            
Warren T 1 1            
Waymark A 1 1            
Jones G 19              
Barber W 16              
Smith L 16              
Walker A 16              
Field D 14              
Baker J 13              
Crathern L 11              
Noakes D 11              
Slaymaker P 8              
Fennell I 6              
Johnson M 6              
Manvell G 6              
Wadey D 6              
Preston A 5              
Meshram P 4              
Wilson J 4              
Barrs K 3              
Livingstone H 3              
Nevill K 3              
Smith N 3              
Styles P 3              
Butcher M 2              
Currin S 2              
Funnell J 2              
Hyde J 2              
Nevill T 2              
Noakes A 2              
Tounge R 2              
Vallance P 2              
Ward P 2              
Warren T 2              
Waymark A 2              
Anand Sawat 1              
Dockwra A 1              
Feroz Khan 1              
Hawthorn C 1              
Hughes H 1              
Hughes J 1              
Mehta G 1              
Mohammed U 1              
Patel D 1              
Pengelly S 1              
Penny N 1              
Preston Adeline 1              
Prince Punnoose 1              
Rainsbridge P 1              
Tom (Guest) 1              
Tourle J 1              
Ward E 1            

One Man Went To Mow.. v Gully 10.06.2018


Back to Berrylands. One is persuaded that rather than cutting the outfield at this venue it would be better to graze livestock. Apart from the wicket itself, which played well at times, the pastures resemble a High Wealden autumnal meadow. But, then again, left unattended that is almost what they are.

The recent trend of pleasant Sunday weather shows no sign of abating and much of this week’s encounter was played in warm sunshine that flooded lobster like arms and elbows. Indeed, when sitting on the bench at this mid-Sussex abode it is wise to be conscious of the gamma effects. The author found the shower a bit prickly for a few days after some short sleeve shirted scoring for twenty overs.

Losing the toss, Lord Sponge’s ghost lingers, The Big Bear was asked to bat. Tis not a footnote to mention that, needing a new recruit to make eleven, Wanderers had a scout around the park. The options were pretty narrow. In the end the choice was limited to the scoring bench, a baguette, The Author and young Alice Noakes. Only one of those could be described as having any knowledge, understanding, and small ability to play cricket. So Alice was correctly chosen… Thus, it is believed, she became the youngest female to play for the team (DJ Dave can’t remember a younger one so that should be enough given his length of service) and possibly only the third or fourth to play a whole game in twenty five years. Slow progress in this area. It would be good to see Sunday cricket as a more mixed affair. Perhaps essential for the long term survival of the game.

In true Berrylands fashion, the match was dominated by individual efforts that dwarfed the able collective. The Big Bear elected to take the first ball and with Wanderers 11-1 at the end of the fourth over, and a tentative approach in prevalent, no-one was really expecting an onslaught. But that is what we were treated to.

With contrasting approach, as indeed we are used to, The Bear clubbed his way to fifty to ton and Wilbarb glided a sweet course of elegant beauty with nudges, nurdles and classic correctness. A potential stand of 200 was only broken at G man’s decision to retire upon reaching three figures. Amiable, perhaps, but an annoyance to scoring statisticians. We seem to get few of those. Will did the same upon reaching his own landmark. Wanderers are so thoughtful. The 40 over innings closed on 251-5.

As ever, tea was ample and immediately available. The only danger here being the tendency to forget that there could be a long haul coming. For Lord Sponge that was indeed the case. The affable and accommodating fool had offered to field for the opposition who were short of personnel. He fielded for 70 overs….

The Gully response, much like that of Wanderers efforts, came from two anchors of support in a second wicket stand. Opener Previn fell in the first over yet not as a sign of things to come. One would have thought that a target of 252 in 40 overs would have proved overwhelming for any chasing side at the meadow. But for a while, although the outcome looked relatively certain, Gully were in the hunt. A century stand between opener Zakir and number three Kanag gave the match a respectable edge and kept Wanderers labouring in the field on what certainly felt like a very long afternoon. Both Zakir and Kanag reached well earned half centuries, Zakir especially wading in with some hefty blows.

Ultimately, with a three wicket return for the Slaymaker and two for Ashley W, an industrious Gully fell short of their target. Wanderers would have preferred them much shorter with the long and arduous heavy fielding experience. By the mid-evening finish only young Alice seemed unfazed by the extended play. Other than that, creaky limbs and bones could be heard above the thunder of the A23. Fond farewells were issued and no-one hung about too long. One year on, one year older..

Match v Gully Format 40 Overs
Date 10/06/18 Venue Berrylands (H)
Innings of Southwick Wanderers
1 Jones (G) * Retired OUT 101
2 Waymark (A) b Zakir 0
3 Barber (W) Retired OUT 100
4 Noakes (D) + c & b Deepak 16
5 Preston (A) Not Out 2
6 Slaymaker (P) b Deepak 5
7 Walker (A) Not Out 0
8 Johnson (M) Did Not Bat
9 Smith (L) Did Not Bat
10 Noakes (A) Did Not Bat
11 Field (D) Did Not Bat
Sum 224
Extras 27
Fall 7-200-230-251
Total 5 Wickets 251
Zakir 8-1-28-1
Deepak 8-0-43-2
Gopi 6-0-25-0
Akshay 3-0-40-0
Hari 7-0-56-0
Kanag 8-0-52-0
Innings of Gully
1 Zakir b Slaymaker (P) 67
2 Previn c Johnson (M) b Smith (L) 0
3 Kanag c & b Johnson (M) 77
4 Hari lbw b Slaymaker (P) 5
5 Gopi lbw b Walker (A) 3
6 Arjun lbw b Slaymaker (P) 1
7 Deepak b Waymark (A) 25
8 Akshay b Waymark (A) 0
9 Previn (returned) Not Out 6
Sum 184
Extras 28
Total 8 Wickets 212
Smith (L) 8-1-25-1
Field (D) 8-2-28-0
Slaymaker (P) 8-0-46-3
Walker (A) 7-0-50-1
Preston (A) 3-0-33-0
Waymark (A) 4-0-24-2
Johnson (M) 1.2-0-4-1
Result Southwick Wanderers Won by 39 runs

Match Report – 20/05/18 – Wanderers v Yellow Stumps…

Anticipation filled the air, the spark of nostalgia.. EVERYWHERE?! And so, as the 6th ‘scheduled’ match day of the season dawned (wisely Gems only booking this down as our 2nd home game) it really felt as if the dawn of summer had arrived.. It was also finally time for the Wanderers to step into action on our own recently adopted pasture for the first time in 2018!
{A washed out April putting pay to the first attempt}

That time was delayed a little as the lady with all the answers was struggling to bypass a few Minis in the Brighton area!.. In the meantime the rest of us were greeted to a delightful looking square but lush (aka heavily hay strewn!) outfield. Not much value for keeping it on the deck one would think :/“What’s a good score? 160-180.. 200?!” the usual chat. One would think 180 would take some getting for most..

Big G won the toss (new skip brings new fortunes it seems!) and with a strong top 7 against a few youthful looking opponents he took the positive move of batting first. And himself an Jordan strode to the wicket with barely a hint of trepidation between them.. And so to the action we go!

After a couple of quiet overs scoring wise (skip being dropped off a big skier early doors!) things BURST into life with Jordan punishing the young opening bowlers severely for any mistakes in their length, ‘Gwyll-i-am’ soon joined the party with the first maximum and at drinks part 1 these two beasts of men had accelerated us to 76-0 off 10!! 

This rudely timed interruption clearly affected our skip as he soon perished to the added experience of C.J the change bowler for 24. This brought the in form Mr Barber to the crease and not long after Jordy was cleaned up by the pace of their skipper for a sparkling 42 to usher Matt Butcher to join Will and the squeeze was on!

Drinks part 2 came and went and soon after Matts battle was over and at 118-3 after 21 it was your match reporters opportunity to have a go… I am happy to report that after a slow (aka Boycott-esque!) first few overs Will and i began to stitch together a partnership with memories of Arundel last year fresh in our minds.

The run rate started to increase again as both men fed off one another’s positivity. The combination of big hitting and running between the wickets truly was poetry in motion and ‘liquid cricket’ was once again the go to phrase 😉

With a mere 8 balls remaining yours truly attempted one slog too many and had to trudge off for 64.. Will remained to massage his season average “cough end the innings in style cough”with a delightful 68* and Ash just had enough time to trouble the scorers with a swift 8* 261-4 off our 40!!! STUNNING. And with Joe not even making it to the crease a real embarrassment of riches indeed.

Tea was taken and the skip had put on a real smorgasbord of delights. The opposition took their time to take stock of the whirlwind that had just blown through their bowlers, the sun continued to shine and we took to the field eager to make early in roads to make the game safe..

Lord Sponge had certainly got the message as ball one was RIGHT ON THE MONEY! Top of off with laser like precision and the ball was rolling!!

Baker J kicked things off from the west end with a maiden and then Luke found the magic again in BOTH his following two overs!! His accuracy was simply immense, the Yellow Stumps were indeed in more than a small patch of their own self titled colour and soon after Joe picked up 2 for himself and we had them under the cosh at 20ish for 5!!

D.J relieved Luke and one would surely expect a let up in the relentless accuracy and scrooge like bowling?! NONSENSE! If anything the precision of the deliveries increased! Their skip had his back truly against the wall and went into zero risk mode as the dots racked up.. Runs began to flow from the other end as Ant (partly due to some shoddy ground fielding!) and Ash both got a bit of tap and even i was dragged out for a trundle.. (Dave had since signed off for a stunning 8-3-11-1 and still remains the oldest swinger in town, MAJESTIC.) Did it all matter much in the grand scheme of things? Not particularly 😀 

Jordypops joined the attack and finally ended the long vigil of their main man for 78 with a dodgy lbw call (other opinions are available) as the match drew to a close. Some excellent defence from their tail saw them just about see out the 40 overs, deny Luke what would have been a well deserved 5 for, and the hands were shaken with the home side running out victors by a 135 run margin.

Many thanks to both Dave and Gemma for scoring a full innings each! The weather for staying beautifully lovely throughout and little Junior for behaving himself.

And a special mention to Danno for some cracking (eccentric of course) glove work which would have done M.J (and possibly even Monsieur Noakes!) proud.

The man of the match points were (clearly!) a tough decision in such a team effort and this was the outcome..
5 Luke Smith
3 Lloyd Crathern/Will Barber
1 Dave Field/Joe Baker/Jordan Wilson.

If you made it this far, i applaud you! until we meet again folks,
Yours sincerely,
Lloyd Crathern.

Southwick Wanderers Cricket Club- 2018 Fixtures

With special thanks to our Gemma…

Team Date Time Venue Postcode
Ifield 15/04/2018 13:00 Away RH11
Fittleworth 22/04/2018 14:00 Away RH20 1JB
Wivelsfield 29/04/2018 13:00 Home BN6 9XH
Brunswick 06/05/2018 14:00 Away BN6 8RD
Scaynes Hill 13/05/2018 14:00 Away  
Yellow Stumps 20/05/2018 14:00 Home BN6 9XH
Brasted & Sundridge 28/05/2018 14:00 Home BN6 9XH
East Dean & Friston 03/06/2018 14:00 Away  
Gully 10/06/2018 14:00 Home BN6 9XH
Ram 17/06/2018 14:00 Away  
Rudgwick 24/06/2018 14:00 Away RH12 3JJ
Rettenden (Taylors) 27/06/2018 18:00 Home BN6 9XH
Worthing Gents 01/07/2018 14:00 Home BN6 9XH
Brunswick Charity Day 08/07/2018 TBC Away BN6 8RD
Chailey 15/07/2018 14:00 Away BN8 4EY
West Hoathley 22/07/2018 14:00 Away  
Headliners 29/07/2018 14:00 Away RH17 5AB
Zambucca Tigers 05/08/2018 14:00 Home BN6 9XH
Greys 12/08/2018 14:00 Home BN6 9XH
Alternatives 19/08/2018 14:00 Home BN6 9XH
Gully 02/09/2018 14:00 Away  
Hackney 09/09/2018 13:00 TBC  
Brighton & Hove Crescent 16/09/2018 13:00 Away  
Sporting Alfas 20/10/2018 13:00 Away  
Sporting Alfas 21/10/2018 13:00 Away  
Sporting Alfas 23/10/2018 13:00 Away



The Week That Was- Thursday 10th August 2017- Another Defeat…. Another Sport

The weather having relented, Thursday provided the first opportunity for some proper bat ‘n’ ball. And indeed all who attended were given an opportunity to get involved. The afternoon’s fare took the shape of a twenty over game in which ten on each side were to bowl a couple of overs each and a batsman was to return to the hutch upon reaching 25 and only return to the field once all others had either been dismissed or retired in the same way.

This format, though admirable, was to be Wanderers Achilles heal. Still, a match that includes everyone and is played in a spirit of both entertainment and competitiveness rightly dwarfs such analysis. Luke went out to attend the toss and, of course, Brittany used the result’s natural default to make a choice of batting first….

Brittany’s early efforts were hampered by a slow and long outfield that wasn’t being addressed by any aerial routing. Taylor Sombrero, Lord Sponge and Mr Lincoln were three of the opening four bowlers and went for less than ten runs each. The run rate gathered pace, however, once The Author was forced to bowl and others, although far more capable these days, entered the fray too. Batsmen Scanlon and Morgan retired at the 25 threshold and Mr Snelling, in his new part time bating role, tucked into some dangerous Fennell leg side long hops to ceremoniously join the retirees.

A left field record was probably broken by The Author in this innings which ended on 149 with Baker Joe the pick of the bowlers at 2-12. The most unfortunate, and most affable, batsman Valace was bowled by a Fennell delivery that actually pitched and did so in line. Whilst Peter may be able to cite shock as the cause of the castle this meant that a Fennell wicket appeared in the Wanderers score book for the first time in 19 years (May 1998). Probably the longest distant between wickets.


Britanny All Stars
1 Valace P     b Fennell I 16
2 Scanlon M   Retired     25
3 Morgan M   Retired     25
4 Snelling L   Retired     30
5 Akroyd W c Naidu R b Baker J 22
6 Cox D   Not Out     11
7 Ward J     b Baker J 2
8 Heard D   Not Out     10
9 Cox J          
10 Slaymaker P          
  Extras         8
  Total 3 Wickets 20 Overs 149
  Fall Of Wickets 45, 126, 132
  O M R W
1 Salerno T 2 0 9 0
2 Smith L 2 0 8 0
3 Barrs K 2 0 15 0
4 Lincoln P 2 0 7 0
5 Fennell I 2 0 25 1
6 Walker A 2 0 19 0
7 Jones G 2 0 17 0
8 Naidu R 2 0 18 0
9 Baker J 2 0 12 2
10 Wadey D 2 0 17 0

Nibbles were had in between innings. Not perhaps the original intention, but as Mr Slaymaker had made the effort to bring food in the previous day it was decided best not let it go to waste. Alas Master Wilson wasn’t present to give it full homage.

Wanderers replied at blistering pace. Ronnie and The Big Bear opened and, in a reversal of the previous innings, it was the opening five bowlers who took a clubbing. With the top five being initially placed in the score-book it was suggested that the rest may not be need- especially as the 50 came up in only the fifth over. Ooops….

You see, as I said earlier, everyone gets a game. And, in a strong sense, we get a better look at relative strength. Alas, on this afternoon, the robust top order of Wanderers made way for a soft, well, rather squidgy, underbelly.

The Big Bear and Ronnie were retired to the hutch. Baker Joe made 16 (including a rare six) and Mr Lincoln rolled back the years wielding the bat like a caveman’s club. Unfortunately, batsmen six to eleven could not even muster a retirement score between them, using up the overs in the process. Thus only 39 runs came off the final ten overs. With the order ran through Ronnie came to crease again needing to clear the boundary every ball for the match to be won. The reality was, through steady bowling, and clear all round ability, Brittany added cricket to their skittles success with a 19 run win.

A special mention here must go the Slaymaker. Wanderers current holder of the bowling trophy shone at the death. Four miserly wickets in two overs. His uncomplicated slow medium pace hitting the deck and forcing batsman to improvise, or in this case implode… A special mention to the other Peter for some competent keeping.

Southwick Wanderers
1 Naidu R   Retired     25
2 Jones G   Retired     30
3 Baker J     b Cox D 16
4 Smith L*       Run Out 7
5 Lincoln P   Retired     25
6 Johnson M (wk) c Snelling L (wk) b Slaymaker P 9
7 Fennell I st Snelling L (wk) b Valace P 4
8 Wadey D lbw   b Slaymaker P 5
9 Walker A     b Slaymaker P 0
10 Salerno T   Not Out     4
11 Barrs K c Cox J b Slaymaker P 0
  Extras         5
  Total   Wickets 20 Overs 130
  O M R W
1 Akroyd W 2 0 23 0
2 Heard D 2 0 17 0
3 Snelling L 2 0 18 0
4 Ward J 2 0 14 0
5 Cox J 2 0 17 1
6 Morgan M 2 0 10 0
7 Scanlon M 2 0 11 0
8 Cox D 2 0 6 0
9 Valice P 2 0 7 1
10 Slaymaker P 2 1 5 4


Another day of fun and much merriment was nicely topped up with a couple of brews and a meal at The Duke. Lovely stuff.

The Week That Was- Wednesday 9th August 2017- A Non (Miss) Match Report

The British summer, having decided that BREXIT means BREXIT, greeted our French friends last week with a first cricketing day of climatic misery. After all, a morning of dry weather with a depression moving in from the west- just in time for cricket- is the lot of a Sunday journeyman in these parts. Having realised that most of our guests were English anyway, and the West Indian among them would also be familiar with rain too, it eventually decided to try the tactic of turning dry instead. We were quite happy with that- and so was anyone else tasked with the job of tea preparation.

The festivities had started in the Duke of York Inn at Sayers Common- although The Author, unfamiliar with such a setting, had missed the jollities thinking that a watering hole with such a grand old title could only exist in an urban scrawl and got ready for an evening out in Brighton. It seems that, however irregular my appearance during, a season will always have a Fennell story attached somewhere.

As Wanderers and the Brittany All Stars (some folk troubled when spelling the region of our southerly neighbours) made there way to the ground for the first match ominous clouds hung overhead. Muggy and dark an hour before play was due to start, it was soon raining heavily. The track at Sayers Common, in common with most clay soil in Mid-Sussex, holds water like a grudge and play was thus called off very quickly.

So what to do. Well, the starts of Brittany seemed less bothered by this eventuality as they were mostly still in the pub. And why not ? So accepting the weather’s poor judgement of inconvenience, a spontaneous and happy gathering was had. But there was not be an ending there. With an evening table booked at the Plough in Pyecombe a few hours were yet to be had. So a small convoy of cars made is way to Henfield for the first and unofficial challenge of the tour. A game of Skittles…

The teams were evenly divided according to, well, which cricket team they played for. The Slaymaker representing France. In fact, the games were billed as England v France- although it may well have been San Marino v France such was the thumping Wanderers took. French Dave (every team should have a ‘Dave’) and Mr Snelling were the pick of the overseas bunch. Six strikes were to be had on the french side with only Lord Sponge responding for the home team.


So Wanderers first match had ended in defeat without so much as a ball being bowled. But no-one seemed too fussed as some attendees then made there way to Pyecombe for a splendid evening meal.


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Nervous Nineties- Southwick Wanderers CC Reaches Another Landmark

For some reason I thought it was Engelbert Humperdinck who sung ‘Happy Anniversary’ but it was Slim Whitman who sung the 1974 classic so engrained in my mind as it was repeatedly played on Radio Brighton when I was a kid. I wonder if DJ Dave has this in his collection of reminiscent numbers.
There has been no ‘last waltz’ for Wanderers though- despite the ruthless decline of Sunday cricket. At times the club, like others, has suffered for playing personnel. It should, perhaps, have suffered more given the lack of a league structure and a colts section. The secret of the teams endurance could be pontificated over many an evening pint but with so many references to the ‘Wanderers spirit’ one would be inclined to believe that such an oft used colloquial to describe a team with guts and determination is not miss-placed here.
This week sees a few matches of celebration to mark the clubs 90th year. The original plan was to run a cricket week in a tournament format although unnecessary delay from the masters of Wanderers home of the last 21 years, Plumpton College, put the plan into turmoil. As a result of this and other frustrations we have now wandered to Berrylands Farm, the home of another former club that has met sad demise, and have de-camped there at this current time. It seems the destiny of Southwick Wanderers to be forever rural in its station but that is part of the fun. The term ‘village cricket’ could hardly be applied to an urban recreation ground with a power staion for backdrop. You cant beat a warm summer Sunday in the sticks.
Our friends from Brittany our joining us as opponents. Wanderers have enjoyed splendid tours in the area and our looking forward to their company. A number of guests and friends from other clubs will feature in the matches during this week.
The agenda for this week is below:
Wednesday 9th August- 40 over match, to be played at Berrylands Farm BN6 9XH. 1pm start.
Thursday 10th August T20 to be played at Berrylands Farm 4pm start.
Friday 11th August Lunch at Days in Brighton (all you can eat Chinese buffet, with other food available.) 7pm @ Sussex County Ground -Sharks v Gloucester. Tickets £28
Saturday 12th August – 40 over match to be played at Berrylands Farm 1200 start. Slow cooker curry and beers at the ground, with end of tour presentation.
Join us if you can. We are looking for more numbers for the Saturday fixture.

Burning Brunswick At Both Ends

Guest writer: Tim Warren

Southwick Wanderers vs Brunswick Village 07.05.2017

Good morning Geoffrey, good morning Martin, good morning everyone. The proceedings were started in T20 style with some spectacular pyrotechnics and a champagne toast to welcome Southwick Wanderers to their new abode.

 With 1 game won and 1 lost, the home side were eager to get off to a good start. Gwyllim, and Jordan opened the batting with clear intent to put runs on the board. Gwyllim falling foul of a low bouncing wicket and an early LBW appeal upheld by the umpire leaving his total on 2.

Max started sprightly, with a few boundaries and a heart in mouth moment as a miss timed straight drive landed safely away from a fielder, he continued well, notching up his 50 in style with a 6.

The run rate continued around the 5/over rate with 3 wickets tumbling during the first 19 overs, Jordan making a respectable 32, with some impressively athletic quick singles, which due to their rarity, a joy to behold by all.

The 19th over, was officially registered by Guinness world record books as the ‘slowest over bowled in the history of the modern world’ due to a hat trick of 6’s reaching the impenetrable forest of Berrylands Farm on each occasion.

After the drinks break, Max continued to swing away, slotting sixes at will, until a miss timed shot from a Keith Bars delivery was caught on the boundary at deep mid wicket 1 run short of 80… Max have a wonderful retirement, you have been an unrelenting servant to the sport of cricket.

Noodle stepped up to the crease next to create a stylish partnership with Lloyd playing shots with aplomb until an unfortunate run out cut their partnership short that’s 142 for 5.

The enigmatic MJ at the crease with noodle lasted a few beautiful overs, but like the star that burns too brightly, and dies too soon, their partnership too suffered the same fate.

Tim took to the crease next and, but for a 6 and a couple of 4’s held out for a dreary and unimaginative 25. 

MJ valiantly swung out with 5 overs to go but came a cropper, bowled with an in swinging fast ball. Dan came in to bat next and wife Gemma, and team captain for the day remarked “he’s batting like a flange”, unfortunately her omen came true and after a valiant few balls succumbed to a ruthless bowler.

Gemma came to the crease and help guide the team to a final total of 193.

Credit goes to a good Brunswick fielding display to hold the home team under 200 runs.

Service resumed after the break and Brunswick in to bat with a total of 193 to beat.

Dan and Peter opened the bowling to a big swinging opener, plenty of pressure was applied early on and Dan was rewarded early on with a clean bowled wicked hitting off stump. Jamie, one of the opening batsmen continued at pace and caused trouble in the out field slotting boundaries at will for the next few overs.

Peter and Luke continued to make a real dent into the opposition batting order with a clean bowled wicket apiece and each creating a catch, one caught and bowled by Luke and the other a well taken catch by Noakes to limit Brunswick’s run rate.

Jordan and Tim were brought on next to change up the attack with some varied spinning from Jordy yielding fruit (to Jordan’s dismay as he had hoped for cake) dismissing seventh place man P. Styles halting him on eight runs. Tim finally got his wicket in the form of an LBW stopping 8th man on 7.

A chance to get Jamie out came and went, as Tim bowled a teasing ball down the Leg side which was swung for and clipped sailing straight into the gloves of MJ who snatched the defeat out of the jaws of victory and dropped him! In MJ’s defence he was only saving the glory for Tim for a few overs later Jamie was caught and bowled halting his total at 69.

Some fine fielding was on display today and some honourable mentions go to Dan with a full paced effort nearly catching the batsmen, but surely stopping a boundary, and to Max who timed a full stretched mid air leap to perfection, almost taking the catch of the year, but most certainly stopping himself having to turn and give chase to the ball to the boundary.


With two wickets to get neither Jordan or Tim could break the last pair down and so the task was given back to Dan and also Gwyllim . It was G-man that made the difference expertly taking both remaining wickets to seal a famous victory on their first ever home fixture at the new ground.